08/19/25

I just woke up from another bad dream. This time, I was with my ex-husband. I had to go somewhere for work and he was supposed to be watching my dogs while I was away. When I get back, my stuff is gone and my dogs are not there. I find him at his friend's parents' house and my stuff is hidden around the house, but only one of my three dogs are there. I am panicked, pleading with him. Begging him to not leave me and to give back my stuff.

It is actually similar in a way to what really happened. I was trying to get him to go to couple's therapy with me and he said he had sacrificed enough for me and nothing would ever change and he wanted me to leave our apartment. At the time, I was having trouble finding full time work and I was just starting to get diagnosed and start therapy for my own mental health issues. I felt so abandoned. I barely had a job paying minimum wage and I relied on him for support financially and emotionally. After that, I became such a bitter and jaded person. I hated the world and everyone in it. With him leaving me, he also saddled me with the house foreclosure by myself. Gay marriage wasn't legal in this state at that time and his name was not on the mortgage. It has taken a lot of work for me to try to find my way after that.

So again, starting my day with bad dreams and remembering all of my old baggage.